Having an opinion means you are presenting your most updated and most “educated” view on a topic. Before we cast our opinion, it needs refining, with enough reasoning to cause the least amount of contention as possible. If not, then we should at least expect some blowback when the opinion is unwelcomed.

The trick to opinions is knowing what to say and when to say it.

There is a litmus test we can apply to determine when our opinions matter or are irrelevant. We need to look for patterns on the results that occur when we give our opinions:

• Do we feel no one considers our opinions?
• Are they often dismissed?
• Are we not being heard?
• Do we genuinely want to hear someone else’s opinions?

A pattern could emerge that others do not acknowledge your opinions. Your opinions get slammed or cause the other person to overreact and get angry which leads to more tension.

The fantastic news is that the problem lies with you, not with 7.8 billion people alive on this planet.

Having an obstinate view on how you see yourself and your opinions, limits personal growth to your own detriment. This will also create permanent tension. The positive news is that you can review, learn and re-adapt your thoughts, theories and opinions.

Changing your personal views will not compromise your integrity. It will allow you to open up to the possibility there is more to achieve in life than trying to perfect your art of being opinionated.

Words should carry emotions and not the other way around.
Placing your emotions ahead of your words can cause tension. People do not communicate with feelings during a conflict, instead, they seek words for affirmation, acknowledgement and resolution.

The most annoying thing anyone can hear is when someone says, “So am I expected to choose my words carefully?” or “Am I not entitled to an opinion?”

Addressing the former, yes, you need to select your words with care if you want to convey your opinions without causing adverse reactions.

Check your words before speaking. It’s not about you; it’s about the other person and how they will react.

Addressing the latter, “Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one”, so make sure yours is clean.

Although we are all entitled to an opinion, however, no one is entitled to hear it.

Opinions can come across as criticism if they are just spoken.

When expressing an opinion, we ought to calculate the level of contention it could cause, especially around sensitive topics. Unsolicited opinions will trigger heated arguments if there is tension around a particular person, subject or situation.

Instead, we can alter our thought pattern and rather swing our opinion into adding “input” which has a more positive approach than just an opinion.

By adding your input versus trying to express your opinion is less abrasive and carries more influence than an opinion. Using this mindset, if your “input” is not valued, you are less likely to come across as opinionated and less likely to feel offended because your “opinion is not heard”. In all essence, people do not like opinions, yet we always seem to want to give our own and get offended when it’s not accepted, heard or acknowledged.

However, our giving our input into a situation will either be taken or equally ignored, but it is far less belief-orientated as opposed to being experience-orientated.

There is no such thing as “constructive criticism” either. People do not need criticism in any form. They need encouragement and guidance towards a positive path to finding a solution or improvement.

The problem is not necessarily “us”; the issue is how we express ourselves and direct our speech. Anyone who feels that they cannot express themselves is purely down to their inner confidence being in trouble.