More often than not we allow our Ego to control our confidence, where instead, we should allow our confidence control our ego.

When we allow our ego to control our confidence, we lose the ability to learn new ideas, discover new beliefs and learn how to accept or be accepted in society.

This all plays a huge role in how we communicate with other people, especially when it comes down to conflict resolution.

Although the ego has many complicated facets, it only needs a single reason to take control. Without enough core confidence, we will allow it to rule.

When ego awakens, it becomes a conveyor that sends out overpowering or  unmanaged emotions.

The ego does not like purpose. It needs indulgence, instant happiness through obsession, lust, greed, envy and addiction.

It does not understand victory or justice. It seeks reward through wrath and pride. It satisfies us by winning the battles, but it never wins the war.

Ego is resentful and jealous, channelled through blame, accusation and judgement. It will seek revenge and retribution by evening the score.

It does not understand forgiveness or acceptance and uses anger, rage and hate instead.

It likes familiarity, procrastination and laziness. We feel warm and safe, even when we fail. It does not understand goals, vision change or growth. It controls us with “but what if?” and doubt as it strips us of faith and trust.

Ego is strong, competitive and overpowering and can ruin opportunities, relationships and bring about loss. It is impulsive, irrational and indecisive. It always has an answer, which is always right.

Ego is cruel, discriminates, blames and accuses through aggression.

Ego lies, cheats and is deceitful and will always justify. There is no heart, no love, no goodwill towards others, only for itself.

It only knows how to threaten when threatened, attack when attacked and provoke when provoked.

Given too much power, it can bring about self-preservation in the present while leading to self-sabotage for the future. Nothing is ever won. Instead, everything is lost.

When we reflect on past circumstances on where we allowed our ego to take control, we can begin to notice how many opportunities have been missed, trouble caused or conflicts to occur without resolution.

Learning to control our inner-ego.

To understand our ego, we have to identify the exact emotion, hurt or pain we are feeling at the precise time we are being challenged or threatened. From here we can begin to understand how to redirect or re-channel our emotions to be responsive instead of manifesting them to become reactive.

This is when we can learn to understand ourselves, but more importantly, understanding other people.

It will take time and effort to get it under control. However, deciding and maintaining the will to change, we have completed 90% of the work. Although we cannot always keep our ego and emotions in check, starting with the issues that have affected our lives negatively in the past or what causes anguish is an excellent start.

If there is doubt on where to start, ask yourself, “when has my ego ever given me a positive result?”